


Life Is

by gaialux



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 22:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaialux/pseuds/gaialux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After returning from Hell, not only is Dean a broken soul of a man, but he also feels like a failure to his brother. He spites his father for forcing him to feel this way and wonders whether he would have been better to just stay dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Is

**Author's Note:**

> Supernatural does not belong to me. This piece of fiction was written for entertainment purposes only, no profit is gained.

Life was scary. Scratch that. Life was a bitch. That had been a universally acknowledged truth for Dean Winchester since age four.

(Or four point five if you were inclined to play the bitch in this little charade).

Ghosts were real. Demons were real. Wendigos, Zombies, Dragons. Even Angels existed – but they were dicks. Nothing good existed, not even the Unicorns. Just the crap, and Dean and Sammy were forced to open their eyes when kids would rather keep theirs closed.

"You scared of the monsters in your closet, Sammy? Good! Keep a gun under your pillow."

Dean sucked as the parent.

"What? You saw what? Get in your room, stay there!" Sam was just a kid; maybe he thought he saw a ghost. Never crossed Dean's mind, at least not at the time.

Christmas brought about truth. Truth brought about death. Dean regretted telling Sam what he did for many years after…he watched his baby brother run to Stanford and then spent each night hanging around in bars, willing Sam to be safe.

Most of all, Dean felt guilty for his admittance; he did it all to take the load from his shoulders – to throw everything on Sam, to have someone to talk to.

It was no surprise how their relationship turned out. A little twisted, a little crazy; utter co-dependence.

"Your judgement's clouded, boy; you care too much for that brother of yours."

Was Dean supposed to just leave Sam, then?

"No! I'm going with Sam!" Not even daddy-dearest had a chance in Hell.

Not even Hell had a chance.

"Me for him! Not ten years – now! Me. For. Him."

Dean and Sam didn't fear death.

They feared loneliness. They feared separation. They feared pain.

You could lose Mom, Dad, Jess, Bobby…lose Sammy or Dean and the world ends.

"Watch Sam." Was it brainwashing?

Did Dad just drill the idea into Dean's mind? Did the responsibility pushed upon the young kid change his thought process? His responsibility? His loyalty?

"Pay attention to your brother, Sammy." Was it the same for Sam?

Neither boy would ever know. The childhood was long in the past by now, and nothing consciously needed to follow them into the adulthood they were now a part of.

Dean looked up and smiled as the door to their motel room opened and Sam walked in, throwing down his duffle on the nearby bed and returning his smile.

Maybe life wasn't a bitch all the time.


End file.
